Nick Clegg, Nicky Morgan & David Miliband – Avengers Assemble!NewsBiscuit

In Britain’s hour of want a crack group of super-powered politicians have assembled to combat injustice, UKIP’s Thanos and the evils of direct voting by the voters. Faced with imminent destruction, the UK has turned to the superhero group who introduced you scholar charges, academization and a cause to vote for Ed Miliband. Responding to […]


Heston Blumenthal creates ‘toxic caterpillar curry’NewsBiscuit

Caterpillars, which their title would possibly recommend, will not be Middle-eastern assist constructions fabricated from stone, however the larval stage of moths or butterflies; first launched to the UK within the matted mesh of burnt out backpackers’ beards.  Unsurprisingly superstar chef, Heston Blumenthal, has turned these poisonous wrigglers right into a fiery dish, that will problem […]


Overwhelming success for ‘NoOverallControl’ PartyNewsBiscuit

Following an enormous surge in help for his or her occasion in native authorities elections, the NoOverallControl occasion is trying ahead to comparable success within the subsequent common election. ‘Despite the present government attempting to steal most of our policies, we are convinced that voters will see through their deception and will want to vote […]

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First cuckoo of spring deported by Home OfficeNewsBiscuit

A eager birdspotter in a Hampshire village who claims to have heard the standard first cuckoo in spring believes it could have been deported by the Home Office having been delivered to their consideration by native avian vigilantes. Fenella Johnson stated that she was delighted to listen to the simply recognised name of the annual spring […]


Baboon resigns from UKIPNewsBiscuit | NewsBiscuit

A baboon has resigned from UKIP following a fierce debate in the party over its future bananas policies. Nigel – named after UKIP’s charismatic leader – indicated he was leaving the party which, he alleged, ‘has been taken over by a cartload of monkeys’. The resignation follows revelations that two chimpanzees and an orang-utan had […]

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Farage denounces Peppa Pig as EU propagandaNewsBiscuit

Nigel Farage has once again given voice to the unspoken thoughts of the majority by claiming children’s television is being infiltrated by EU propaganda. ‘Our children are being brainwashed,’ he said. ‘They don’t have a chance – by the time they’re old enough to vote, they think it’s perfectly normal to know what halloumi is.’ […]


Paul Nuttall recollects surviving the Boston Floods of 1571NewsBiscuit

Paul Nuttall, previously resident of Stoke, defined his causes for standing because the UKIP candidate for Boston and Skegness. ‘I was born here, I’ve lived right here all my life and I survived the good flood of 1571,’ he stated right this moment, reflecting on the unhappy lack of his shut buddy and second cousin […]


‘The Shape of Mogg’ – Jacob reveals secret love for Fish-ManNewsBiscuit

Victorian politician Jacob-Rees Mogg has revealed he’s in a secret love affair with a wierd sea-creature – often called a ‘British Trawlerman –  who has been persecuted by shadowy authorities forces.  The unlikely union between the gruff, scaly, smelly creature that was captured and imprisoned by the EU years in the past, and the subtle […]