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Government to Erect Statue of Hither Green BurglarNewsBiscuit

The courageous Hither Green burglar, who heroically died whereas merely attempting to supply the most recent digital gear for his household, is to have a statue erected in his honour. His family had been pushing for sainthood and a burial in Westminster Abbey however are nonetheless happy with the federal government recognition. ‘He was pretty […]

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‘Ambo’ Rudd launches private marketing campaign of violenceNewsBiscuit

Frustrated with the legacy of police cuts, the failure of ‘stop and politely enquire’ and with Mayor Khan apparently hiding beneath his desk, Home Secretary Amber Rudd has taken the knife crime epidemic into her personal arms. ‘There are two ways to tackle this’, she rasped. ‘One way is to promote training in parenting skills, […]

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Criminals to police themselvesNewsBiscuit | NewsBiscuit

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British […]

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Daily Express: ‘It would be a shame if anything happened to Meghan’NewsBiscuit

Taking day without work from fixing the the homicide of Diana, the Daily Express editorial board is holding disaster talks on the bodily security of Prince Harry’s bride to be. ‘One can only imagine the unseemly proliferation of conspiracy theories that would follow if, say, she were to die in a horror crash in the […]

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Barristers to strike for non-uniform dayNewsBiscuit

The Criminal Bar Association has introduced that its members are to stroll out over ‘inadequate provision’ for a non-uniform day.  Barristers have lengthy wished a particular working day the place they’ll take part in charity fundraising, ‘as with other commonplace professions and employments’. Such has been the desperation for barristers to do their bit, rumours […]

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Winchester resident lays declare to mining rights in native pothole.NewsBiscuit

A Winchester native resident has filed a declare for mining rights in a pothole after it ate her Landrover Defender. Linda Holtby of Badger Farm laid declare to the opening close to the visitors lights in Chilbolton Avenue after it rearranged her touchdown gear on Thursday night. Winchester City Council have since filed a counter-claim […]

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Experts reveal main inefficiencies’ in Windsor-based household businessNewsBiscuit

A examine of one among Britain’s oldest enterprise issues has made a scathing assault on its archaic and inefficient practices. Its sheer inertia and lack of innovation have left it largely unchanged since round 1066. Incredibly, the 92-year-old matriarch of the household remains to be conducting the day after day transactions whereas her 69-year-old son […]