NOTE ALTERNATE CROP Mayor of London Boris Johnson salutes from the deck of the tall ship Tenacious, which is moored at Woolwich, in east London, as part of the month long Totally Thames festival.

Boris Johnson discovered responsible of not being Boris JohnsonNewsBiscuit

A person who has been passing himself off as a bumbling politician for the previous twenty years is at this time beginning a 3 12 months jail sentence after having been convicted of a number of cases of deception. “Foreign Secretary”, Boris Johnson, by no means went to Oxford or Eton it has been revealed. […]

Nuclear Bunker

Cabinet gripped by bunker mentalityNewsBiscuit

Following Russia’s menace of retaliation for the allies bombing in Syria, fierce arguments have damaged out inside Theresa May’s Cabinet. Reports of pushing, shoving and name-calling have leaked out as every member tried to safe their place within the secret Underground Bunker ought to Russia assault the UK In the previous many Ministers have questioned […]

chinese-sweat-shop

Brexit to be outsourced to ChinaNewsBiscuit

With high-level negotiations, tit-for-tat posturng and Boris Johnson seeming not being sufficient to make leaving the EU so simple as doable, Theresa May introduced that Brexit could be outsourced to China. This has been seen as a each a catastrophe and a triumph by those that tie themselves in knots attempting to recollect what they […]

burnt-toast

Porton Down verify ‘it was just burnt toast’NewsBiscuit

The defence analysis facility has lastly revealed that the pattern of nerve agent provided by Boris Johnson was, actually, the stays of his tiffin. Disappointingly this may imply the UK having to backtrack on its accusations and that Boris might have eaten the stays of the Novichok. A Porton Down spokeswoman stated: ‘We ran a […]

180326-basu-organ-lede_xc1lxz

New organ ‘not for masturbation purposes’NewsBiscuit

Scientists have been disillusioned to find that the human physique’s newly found 80th organ can by no means be used to boost your love life or appeal to Russell Brand. Sadly the ‘interstitium’ is unlikely to function in another than probably the most area of interest, pornography or the most affordable of sausage. The interstitium […]

bojo

Putin compares Boris Johnson to Boris JohnsonNewsBiscuit

The head of the UK’s diplomacy has helpfully likened Vladimir Putin to Hitler, in a novel try and defuse worldwide stress and enhance our possibilities of profitable the World Cup.  Reaching out with all of the cultural sensitivity of somebody who fortunately makes use of phrases like ‘piccaninnies’, Boris de Pfeffel Johnson his begun his […]